Carrots

I am standing in my kitchen, making a side dish for a birthday party tomorrow, with the rain pouring down outside. And I'm not in the greatest of moods. I am reflecting on things that I don't like about my life right now.

I don't like the rain. The rain flows in the streets and sidewalks and overflows into the good water supply for the town. Therefore, with lots of rain, we lose water in the apartment. No flushing the toilet (I have to force-flush it), no way to wash hands, cook, and shower. And my puppy doesn't like going in the wet grass and the rain. Therefore I get messes inside to clean up. I think that's all for the rain.

I don't have a way to transport myself. Ok, so I can walk, but groceries get heavy walking back home. And I could get a concho (motorbike-taxi). But I want my own transportation; I want a bit more independence.

I have nowhere to go to relax. At college I had plenty of places, indoors and out. However, here there are a few problems. The couch in our apt. sucks. It is a dinky little love seat thing with very uncomfortable cushions. I have tried the roof of the building, but that does no good in the rain. And I know no place in town to go. Plus, that gets back to the transportation issue.

I am in a job I was not hired for, have a degree for, nor want. All I have is the promise of a new position which fits those previous three requirements, sometime in the future.

And with all this stress, I have no one close enough to support me. I have no one here to hold the pieces when I fall apart. I have no one to re-energize me when all of these things drain me.

The only chord holding all the pieces which make up my messed up chandelier together is the ever-thinning knowledge that this is where God wants me. This is where I should be. As for why, I have no idea.

Carrots are ready...back to cooking.