Words from Wednesday

My friend (whom I always seem to be referring to) does Wordless Wednesdays. Well, to be different, and because I want to post some of my favorite quote from the book I just finished, I am giving my Words from Wednesday. All are quoted from Paul Faber, by George MacDonald. There are so many more: why don't you go read the book :)

“Lord, I have laid my heart upon Thy alter,
But can not get the wood to burn;
It hardly flares ere it begins to falter,
And to the dark return.

Old sap, or night-fallen dew, has damped the fuel;
In vain my breath would flame provoke;
Yet see--at every poor attempt’s renewal
To Thee ascends the smoke.

’Tis all I have--smoke, failure, foiled endeavor,
Coldness, and doubt, and palsied lack;
Such as I have I send Thee; --perfect Giver,
Send Thou Thy lightning back.”

~~~~~~~~~~

"The Maker of men alone understands His awful mystery between the man and woman. But without it, frightful indeed as are some of its results, assuredly the world He has made would burst its binding rings and fly asunder in shards, leaving His spirit nothing to enter, no time to work His lovely will."

~~~~~~~~~~

”…we are as God made us. --No, I will not say that: I will say, rather, I am as God is making me, and I shall one day be as He has made me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

”Her uncle said sleep was God’s contrivance for giving man the help He could not get into him while he was awake.”

I "mouse goofy"

(Yes, I am using "mouse" as a verb.)

A little while ago I mentioned that I moved my mouse to the left hand side due to space on my desk. My friend Joanna sent me some articles today where they recommend just that in order to stretch your brain. It helps the two sides of your brain work together more.

As an update, things are going well with the mouse on the left. There are still some things it is a little bit harder to do because of control, but it is getting better. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I did not switch the buttons.

Under the sun

When I set out to write this, I didn't think it would be two pages long nor take me 2 hours. But I had a lot to say, and am decently pleased with how it came out. Please post your comments and reactions to this blog and the article. I don’t claim to know it all or have it all figured out. I invite your criticism to help me grow.

I want to thank my good friend Joanna for her post about this article (which you kind of need to read to understand this). It has given me something to react to as well as bring one of my essay topics into more of an actual essay form. So, I will begin by responding to the article and then add my own words.

Joanna titled her blog well- Legalistic. At first, the idea of keeping all the rules in the Bible for a one year experiment sounded interesting, potentially good, but too easily…legalistic. Then when my eyes read that Jacobs asked “strangers for permission to stone them for adultery”, I began to wonder if this guy really knew the purpose of these rules he was attempting to keep. I recently read through the first few books of the old testament, and learned a lot about the purpose of these laws God gave His people. (*disclaimer- I have had very little formal study on this; this is only based on my understanding, though I don’t think I am far off*) God gave them these laws for a few reasons. Some of them were health reasons- to keep His people alive in a world of little medical and health knowledge. Second- He is a holy God and can not be among unholy people (see Deut. 23:14). So these were ways to keep them holy (including sacrifices for their sins). I think this one relates to the above.

But the main reason I picked up was this: “The LORD will establish you as His holy people…Then all the peoples on the earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you.” (Deut. 28:9-10). It is for His people; they obey, and He will bless. Why? Well, so that He will be known on earth. In short the laws were not just a list of dos and don’ts, or things to carry around with you. You obey and follow for Him, not the laws!

“’Ask not what God can do for you, ask what you can do for God.’” Oh boy, does this man have it all wrong! He claims that this experience has moved him from “agnostic” to “reverent agnostic.” Oh, look what the law can do without a relationship with the true God who commands it all! This has been an issue on my mind lately, ever since reading “Thomas Wingfold” by George MacDonald. There is Being behind those laws. And they are a way to relate and know Him. It’s not about the laws- it’s about Him. You aren’t doing anything for God, well, unless you call building a relationship with Him “doing something.” Even then, it’s not really for His sake, though He does long for the relationship. Oh, but at its core it is not about doing. That comes second. (no this is not in contradiction to my last post. The works come when as we know the God who calls us to them.)

“The Bible affected every single part of my life…” as it should! But with what purpose? If it only makes you a better person and only gives you a better life, its purpose is incomplete. The Bible affects your life now, as well as your spirit and therefore eternal life. And even more than that, it gives you a chance to meet the One who loves you and made you. It’s like a chance to meet the once anonymous donor who gave you billions of dollars just because he cares.

I must say, I love the story about the old man in the park who asked him what he was doing. This “man in his 70s” nearly offered to be stoned for being an adulterer. Yet, before Jacobs could throw a pebble at him, this man threw one at Jacobs. “an eye for an eye” is what Jacobs thought. “How often did Jacobs offer other people to punish him when he sinned?” is what I wondered. And what definition of “adultery” was Jacobs using?

"Cafeteria religion…It’s all about picking the right parts. You want to take a heaping serving of the parts about compassion, mercy, and gratefulness- instead of the parts about hatred and intolerance." Why, I ask? Why do you get to decide what you choose to "eat"? Why not ask the Ruler-Maker? Oh yeah, He’s not important, only the rules are. Again, lacking the main purpose of it all- a relationship!

I recognize that Jacobs did not come at this from the perspective of a believer trying to please his God. He just wanted to try it. So, for the sake of trying it out to see what it is like and how easy/ difficult it is, that’s fine. It annoys me, though (and I hope rightfully so) that people tend to view the Bible as just that: a book with rules that are both difficult and sometimes rewarding. There is so much more that gets missed. Is it their fault for not seeing the bigger picture- or is it ours (believers)? Are we presenting the Bible for what it really is? Are we presenting Christianity for what it really is? We say it all the time: “it’s a relationship, not a religion.” But do we live that? Do YOU know the Man who took your sins? Are you trying to build the relationship, not your faith? Is the Son of Man really a man to you? Do I really know Jesus?

”Perhaps I could help you a little if you were really set out to find Jesus, but you must yourself set out. It is you who must find him. Words of mine, as the voice of one crying in the wilderness, may let you know that one is near who thinks he sees him, but it is you who must search, and you who must find. If you do search, you will find, with or without help of mine.” (MacDonald, pg 510) Lamentations 3:24-26
Jeremiah 29:11-14
Zephaniah 2:3
Matthew 7:7-11

What I believe: Doing, not hearing

This is my first participation in any thing like this. Thanks, Beth, for hosting this! I have many things that I could write, yet I fear it is hard to choose since none of them are all that well formed. If I even get time, I would love to form these into nice little essays. Maybe when I graduate.

But today I want to share just the outlines of one of my ideas, inspired by George MacDonald. I have fallen in love with his work since last fall, and have really been enjoying my class where we read and discuss his books (and G.K. Chesterton). One of his main issues in his books is well put, simply, in a Rich Mullins song "Faith without works is like a song you can't sing, It's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine." James also states this issue: "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." And in MacDonald's own words: "It is better to be an atheist who does the will of God, than a so-called Christian who does not." "But the more familiar one becomes with any religious system, while yet the conscience and will are unawakened and obedience has not begun, the harder it is to enter into the kingdom of heaven."

What does it mean to be a Christian? I know what it means to be saved: confess Jesus as Lord and believe He was raised. But to be a Christian- we must have obedience, we must have actions to match our faith. What example are we setting? Is this really only about beliefs, and not a changed life? I hope none of this is new to all you believers out there. You know that a life should be different now that you do believe.

But if we can truly make this a part of our lives, we become part of something amazing: God's will. And it is this will that brings others to Him, that brings Him glory, and how we can be who He is making us to be. We need to be different, not only in beliefs, but in actions too. That is what I believe!

Now acting on this, ah yes, that is the problem. I have a belief on that too: we are selfish. But that's another topic in progress, for another day

"And it won't break my heart to say goodbye"

Thanks to my friend, I was made aware that ten years ago today Rich Mullins left this world. While I don't remember where I was when I heard the news, I know it affected me greatly. I had been listening to Christian music for only about 2 years prior to that, but I had such a liking for Rich and his music that his death had an impact on me.

I loved the music, including the dulcimer in many of his songs (the intro to "Sing Your Praise to the Lord" has to be the greatest). And his lyrics- they have been the cries of my heart to God many times. My favorite song has to be "Hold Me Jesus."

And I will echo my friend's sentiments- he would have been a great man to know. Maybe I'll go read a biography of him...my faith is in need of strengthening.

My countdown

So, on Sunday I didn't feel like doing homework (kind of like now). I felt like being a first grader. You remember how in elementary school, your class would make a paper chain to countdown the days until the Christmas or the end of school? Well, I made one to count down the days until I am finished with my last final and my undergraduate degree.

Yes, the different colors do mean something. The purple and yellow (TU's colors) alternate for the days of classes I have left. The orange days are weekend and breaks. I am a visual person, so this is a nice way to see how much longer I have at TU.

I am almost done and ready to be out of here...maybe more on that sentiment in a later post.

Futbol is still futbol

My first blog ever was three years ago yesterday. It was about soccer- the love of my life. That was inspired by doing stats for the TU men's soccer team; today I was reminded of the beauty of soccer while doing stats.

My soccer day actually started at 9am went I went to work out and the TVs in the Well had the Women's World Cup on. So while I ran, I got to watch Sweden take on Nigeria. Also on another TV was England/ Japan. In the time I was there, I got to see three goals scored. And by the time I got back to my apartment, I got to see Japan score in the 94th minute. While I'm not a big fan of women's soccer, it was fun to watch.

After classes, I went out, on a beautiful sunny afternoon, to do men's stats. I was quickly reminded of the poem I wrote on here 3 years ago; something about soccer strikes a chord in me. I mentioned in my poem that soccer is an art, not a sport. I saw this more clearly as I compared working stats for other teams with my boss. Baseball is honestly boring. While it is all stats, that's about all it is. Football is alright, but the athleticism comes only in short little bursts. Basketball is great, but you have to watch the game differently to take stats.

All of those sports have many stats to record and can be analyzed fairly well by just looking at the numbers. Now don't get me wrong, the numbers don't tell you just how hard that home run was hit, or just how he dodged all those tackles, or just how sweet that dunk and assist were, but the numbers pretty much tell the game.

Soccer- soccer has few stats. You can sit back and watch the game, taking a bit of time to record shots or corners or fouls. And if you are looking to improve and coach, you might record wins and losses on the ball. But soccer truly is an art. Every touch of the ball, every control, every leading pass- each one is beautiful when you watch a good team.

And so, three years and one day later, I still believe the same thing- "This isn't a sport: this is an art."

Cooking like a Canadian

Following the footsteps of my dear friend Joanna, I am posting about my first meal made for a group of people. Having worked in Canada this summer, I got to taste a popular dish: poutine. It can be simple or complex, but for my roommates, I took the easy way out.

One bag of frozen french fries, one bag of mozzarella cheese, two packets of gravy. Cook the french fries, make the gravy and then layer: french fries, cheese, gravy. With warm gravy, the cheese will melt. I also made green beans as a veggie. Nothing fancy, but I wanted to share! Thanks to Joanna for the inspiration of this post, the Bergs, who put this on our menu this summer, and my roommates who were willing to try a new dish.

Sunday Evening Sermon

I mentioned "Thomas Wingfold" by George MacDonald yesterday, I would like to share a sermon that the curate Wingfold shared with his congregation during his search to find what he really believed. Click here to read it all.

"The church wherein you now listen, my hearers, the pulpit wherein I now speak, stand here from of old in the name of Christianity. What is Christianity? I know but one definition, the analysis of which, if the thing in question be a truth, must be the joyous labour of every devout heart to all eternity. For Christianity does not mean what you think or what I think concerning Christ, but what is of Christ. My Christianity, if ever I come to have any, will be what of Christ is in me; your Christianity now is what of Christ is in you...I have, alas, with blameful and appalling thoughtlessness I subscribed my name, as a believer, to the Articles of the Church of England, with no better reason than that I was unaware of any dissent therefrom, and have been ordained one of her ministers...As one standing on the outskirts of a listening Galilean crowd, a word comes now and then to my hungry ears and hungrier heart: I turn and tell it again to you--not that ye have not heard it also, but that I may stir you up to ask yourselves: 'Do I then obey this word? Have I ever, have I once sought to obey it? Am I a pupil of Jesus? Am I a Christian?' Hear then of his words. For me, they fill my heart with doubt and dismay.

"The Lord says: Love your enemies. Sayest thou, It is impossible? Then dost thou mock the word of him who said, I am the Truth, and has no part in him. Sayest thou, Alas, I cannot? Thou sayest true, I doubt not. But hast thou tried whether he who made will not increase the strength put forth to obey him?

"The Lord says: Be ye perfect. Dost thou then aim after perfection, or dost thou excuse thy wilful short-comings, and say, To err is human--nor hopest that it may also be found human to grow divine? Then ask thyself, for thou hast good cause, whether thou hast any part in him.

"The Lord said, Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth. My part is not now to preach against the love of money, but to ask you: Are you laying up for yourselves treasures on earth? As to what the command means, the honest heart and the dishonest must each settle in his own way; but if your heart condemn you, what I have to say is, Call not yourselves Christians, but consider whether you ought not to become disciples indeed. No doubt you can instance this, that, and the other man who does as you do, and of whom yet no man dreams of questioning the Christianity: it matters not a hair; all that goes but to say that you are pagans together. Do not mistake me: I judge you not. I but ask you, as mouthpiece most unworthy of that Christianity in the name of which this building stands and we are met therein, to judge your own selves by the words of its founder.
...
"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. He will none but those who with him do the will of the Father."

MacDonald, George (1996). Thomas Wingfold, curate. Whitethorn, CA: Johannesen.

Control Freak

“God this endless Being decides it all for us... we dont make choices that he hasn't already planned out for us... we dont make choices that even matter... He decided it all already... He tells us what to think what to eat when to sleep”

I don’t understand this feeling…I don’t grasp it. And it hurts me that my friend feels this way about his life: the helplessness and hopelessness which comes out in his everyday actions. I doubt that my words will even do anything or mean anything to him, if he even reads this, but I feel it needs to be said.

My view: God knows the future and what will happen in 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days, 1000 years. He knows the facts of what will be. But this is not the result solely of God’s discretion. Without going into too much theology, the future was written into time at the creation, which includes the choices of sinful humans.

It is almost as if there are two futures. One that will be and one that would be if God did exercise complete control over us. His future is one of light burdens and easy yokes (Matt 11:30). His ideal is that no one would perish eternally (2 Peter 3:9). That is what life would be like if He had His way with our lives as was expressed above.

But as another one of my friends said, there are certainly things I have done which I know were NOT God’s plan. How often does life push us from Him? How often are our burdens beyond what we can carry? Life, the future, while known by God, is not controlled by Him. So what is His role? Helpless observer up in heaven going “Shoot, she messed up again! Oh, and look, she’s going to do it again. Yep, her future is not in my plan- she’s worthless.” NO- NO-NO!

“If there be a God…then all is well, for certainly he would not give being to such a woman, and than throw her aside as a failure and forget her. It is strange to see, though, how he permits his work to be thwarted. To be the perfect God notwithstanding, he must be able to turn the very thwarting to higher furtherance.” Thomas Wingfold by George MacDonald*. This turning of the thwarting may not be in your life, but in some other life, who has been willing to let God lead them. That is how God reaches in to change and control the future- where He has been invited in.

But I also believe that God can use you when you don’t allow Him to directly. He has created this world and has made it so that some choices are more beneficial to the individual as well as His plan for salvation and redemption. In our own selfishness, we may make these choices, in line with His best plan, without that as our main motivation.

So what? What does it matter? Your choices are your own to make. You get to control where your life goes and what happens. But all your choices boil down to one basic choice- to follow your own plan or God’s. Yes, they may align sometimes, against your will likely. When you give Him control, He will use you and your life for His plan. And while you may not have handed that to Him directly, He has come in because you have chosen an action in line with His plan.

I don’t have this all figured out. I’m sure many theologians would contest some of my thoughts, as well as others just like me. But this is my belief, and it works for me. And I can only pray that God will lead you to a place where you can say the same thing: I don’t know it all, I don’t need to, but I will accept what does make sense and walk on in faith from there. It’s a big step, but it is possible with Him. He is the cure for colorblindness, but that is for another blog another time- this one is quite long as it is.

Please, your thoughts and reactions are requested! Just do it with a helpful, humble spirit.

*If you have not read George MacDonald, I highly recommend him. I have only read a few of his fairy tales and some of his novels, but if you enjoy C.S. Lewis, you will love MacDonald (he inspired Lewis). The novel this comes from is a great tale of a young curate’s journey to find out if he really believes what he has preached in front of so many. More from this novel later.

Middle name thing

Watch out for a flood of blogs, as I have had many thoughts on my mind and, now that it is the weekend, have plenty of time to process them and blog them. And to add to my own thoughts, I have now been tagged. So I’ll start there.

The Rules:

1. You have to post the rules before you give the facts.
2. You must list one fact that is relevant to your life for each letter in your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name then use a name that you like.
3. When you are tagged you must write a post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your post you must tag one person for each letter in your middle name.
5. Don’t forget to comment them telling that they are tagged and to read your post to get the rules.

• M- moving. I have moved 4 times in my life, due to my dad’s job at Marathon Petroleum. Hardest move- half way through high school from Houston to Northwest Ohio.
• I- imaginary friend. When I lived in Colorado, I had an imaginary friend named Ado (hmm, where could I have possibly come up with that name?). I don’t remember anything else about her.
• C- computer science. My first major at college, until I decided to follow my heart to help people into psychology.
• H- Hocus Pocus. This is a confession. In 3^rd grade I watched this movie over at my friend’s when I spent the night. I wasn’t allowed to watch it at home. Sorry mom and dad.
• E- elephants. I have an elephant ring that I bought in Florida over spring break freshman year.
• L- liquid nitrogen. Ah, memories of my dad, a chemist, coming to my elementary classes and showing off cool tricks with liquid nitrogen (a racquetball in LN2 breaks into many pieces when you throw it to the ground).
• L- letters. Following the practices of my cousin, I have saved all personal letters for the past years. Honestly, it’s not that many, thanks to the internet.
• E- Ephesians 3:14-21. My favorite prayer for others in the Bible.

Wow, that was a whole lot harder than I expected. And now to tag 8 others….hmmm. This is tough too. I don’t want to tag those that already got it….hmmm. Got nobody, sorry.

Left- handed?

So, I was sitting in my research in psychology class and I think we were talking about paradigms and accepting things just because they have always been that way and my prof mentioned the computer mouse being on the right hand side of the keyboard. "Why is it on the right hand side? Yes, most people are right handed, but if you used your left hand, that would leave your right hand to do other things."

Good point, though a little different, I thought at the time. But then I got to thinking about it. My current desk situation is not the greatest. Pretty much I have no room for my mouse on the right hand side. I was turning my keyboard to the side in order to use my mouse. So, inspired by my teacher, I decided to try the mouse on the left hand side.

It actually hasn't been too bad. Using a mouse does not require much coordination and therefore it has actually worked pretty well. I have not seen the advantage as of yet to having my right hand free, but it is a much better set up on my desk.

Just thought I'd share :-D. (my keyboard has to go there since it would be offset due to drawers on the left)